Foreign bodies in the takeaway

Foreign bodies in the takeaway

I’ve just seen on the news, the chef in my local Chinese restaurant has been arrested for jerking off in the Egg Fu Yung. He claims he was only doing it to customers who were rude when they ordered, but it’s made me slightly uncomfortable about eating there again. Not that I order Egg Fu Yung, I’m more of a sweet and sour girl. I also wonder why a specific dish was mentioned in the story, it seems like unnecessary detail to me. And, if he only jizzed in the orders of the rude people, did they only ever order Egg Fu Yung? Something smells fishy to me. Not unlike the Egg Fu Yung methinks.

Such a shame he didn’t work at the Indian restaurant. He could have justified his actions by claiming the dish clearly stated it had cumin.

It’s bizarre stories like these, that really tickle me and I come to my usual conclusion, the World has created some very dubious characters. Where’s all the positive stories? Where’s all the happy endings? Oops, we’re back to the Chinese restaurant again. 

I want the good news stories; I want the uplifting ones that demonstrate supreme human spirit. Not the ones that leave a nasty taste in the mouth. Nope, Chinese restaurant again. 

I want the melancholic tales that leave a lump in the throat. 

Oh for goodness sake; gimme an Egg Fu Yung. To go. 

It just doesn’t seem right to try and sell you the Bold clothing range after that.