4 types of chat-up lines & how to deal with them

4 types of chat-up lines

It was during my younger, nightclubbing days when I realised Darwin’s theory was correct. The male side of the species is definitely derived from apes.

Women originate from Unicorns by the way. You can read all about it in Kate’s Origin of Species.

Men’s inability to impress at the chat-up stage is mind blowing, and it really shouldn’t be that difficult. As way of proof, I’ve chosen a selection of well-worn chat-up lines and categorised them. Should any of these be unleashed upon you, at least you can feel prepared. 

Category 1 - The Corny line: Appropriate action should be a roll of the eyes and a wave to an imaginary friend, as you walk quickly towards your make-believe colleague.

1. If you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine.
2. Well, here I am, what's your other 2 wishes?

Category 2 - The Desperate line: So called because you just know they’ve used these lines dozens of times before without luck, yet they still think the law of averages will pay dividends eventually.

1. There’s a big sale in my bedroom tonight, clothes are 100% off.
2. I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
3. Is that a mirror in your underwear..’cos I can see myself in them.

Category 3 - The Creepy line: Stay well away from these guys. Chances are, they’re out on parole.

1. Is this the bus stop, ‘cos I’m here to pick you up.
2. Does this handkerchief smell of chloroform?

Category 4 - The ‘In-with-a-chance’ line: OK, so the opening line is laced with a bit of flattery, and a smidgen of humour. Their follow-up line is critical. Your first response to these, should at least be an inquisitive, “Go on....” 🤔

1. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk passed you again? 
2. I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
3. Sorry, but you’re going to have to leave, you’re making everyone else look ugly.

Good luck out there ladies. Remember, you originate from Unicorns, and nothing gets the better of a Unicorn 🦄

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